This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
