he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
