I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
