Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We're too hungover to prance.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
