Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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