Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize