They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
