I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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