I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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