I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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