I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can text with my tongue
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
