At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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