When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
