Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
