Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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