I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
