if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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