I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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