WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
