we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Houston, we have a squirter
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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