Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
