a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
