Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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