he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
