When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
