her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
