I feel like abortions should bother me more
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize