Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
