Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
