she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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