Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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