I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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