considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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