Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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