Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
