you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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