Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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