my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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