i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
