So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
