Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
