wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
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If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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