I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
