White coat. Heels.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
