how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
