So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
