Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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