I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He passed out mid-signature
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
