I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
