how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
