My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
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She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
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I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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