On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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