just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
