I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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