there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I need water and some morals
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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