wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize