have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
