Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize