can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
