I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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