theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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