I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
