Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
