Where is the hickey?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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