What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
