I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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