I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
