oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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