Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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